GARY WILL is a consultant and speaker who works with individuals and organizations to help them attract employers, employees and customers by adopting a marketing attitude.

Related pages:

The Worst of Interview Horrors!

Interview Horrors! Archive

Go to the Archeus WORKSEARCH homepage
The web's most thorough guide to selling yourself to an employer.

Other articles:

Writing a Persuasive Cover Letter

Putting a Spin on Work Experience

Improve your ability to communicate the value you offer an employer with Gary Will's book How to Prepare for an Employment Interview -- now available by e-mail in Microsoft Word format.

Sample chapters:

1. Selling Yourself in an Employment Interview
2. Is Preparation Even Possible?
7. What You Need to Know About Business
14. Asking Questions -- An Essential and Overlooked Step

Shocking questions,
inept interviewers,
and horrible experiences

An interview is one of your primary objectives in a worksearch campaign. But some interviewers will turn your achievement into an hour of torture.

Screaming out "What kind of idiotic question is that!?" at the interviewer tends to dampen the effectiveness of one's self-sales efforts. So a while back I gave people a chance to do a bit of venting and let the world see the agonies they've been put through.

QUESTION: We like to see our team as a fruit basket, with each member complementing one another. Which piece of fruit will you be in this basket?

Thank you all for sharing for your horror stories. I tried to pick out the ones that are either funny, depressing, or -- occasionally -- helpful to a person who's preparing themselves for an interview.

Some of my favourites are listed on the Worst of Interview Horrors! page.

I have been asked on several occasions how old my children are. When I tell them 7 and 10 the response has been "oh, so they are old enough to take care of themselves." The next time I am asked that I am asking if they are offering me parenting advice or a job.

I was interviewing a candidate for an accounting clerk who smelled so bad that I had to move the chair he sat in outside for several days. It was the shortest interview I have ever conducted. I couldn't stay in the closed off room with him longer than 10 minutes!

This didn't happen to me but received attention in the press in Ireland. An airline was looking for new stewardesses and were holding open interviews. Candidates were told to bring a resume and a full length picture of themselves (many had to have this done specially). At the place where the interview was held they were all broken up into groups of about 15 and made to do the most stupid tests. One was to pretend to be a hippopotamus playing water-polo. At the end of 30 minutes of inane tasks about 2 of the 15 were selected for an actual interviewed. There was quite a high degree of anger from many who had to travel a long way, get dressed up and prepare a resume and picture that was never looked at.

QUESTION: Are you sure this job is right for you?

At a third interview with potential boss: "I never can understand why women never make it in this business, perhaps they don't have the drive and determination to succeed. Julie, where do you see yourself in ten years time?"

I was 30 years old, when I had an interview and the HR Manager asked me why an attractive women like me at my age is not yet married.

At an interview for a job I absolutely needed, the supervisor asked how my best friend would describe me. I got the job, and a few months later, he told me that he asks that question (and some others) when he doesn't like the person -- not realizing he asked me those very questions. I soon left.

A friend of mine who worked for a start-up venture capital company was deseparately looking for new work when he found out the company was about to run out of cash. At one small company, my friend was led to see the CEO who asked, after several sarcastic remarks and questions, if he was still beeing paid at his current job. After another 10 minutes of sarcasm and demeaning my friend's ability and accomplishments, the CEO led him to meet another employee who was introduced as "Mr. X, who was also working in a start-up and had gone six months without pay."

QUESTION: "We need people desperately. Would you mind taking a 10% pay cut and join us?"

Interviewing for a technical management position, I asked the Director of Engineering about the company's current operating procedures, to which he answered, "Hey, you're the one wearing the business suit" (he was wearing a T-shirt), "Shouldn't you be telling me what to do?"

After graduating college, my list of work experience was naturally short. The interviewer looks at me and says, "It must have been nice to not have to work all these years."

I once went for a interview for a 30 hour a week clerical position in the financial aid office of a University. There were two people interviewing me and they both came at me head on. Some of the questions asked were "What type of man do you think you're going to marry?", "Can you recite the alphabet backwards?", "Have you ever gotten drunk at a wedding", and the best one: "If you were a part of a chicken, what part would you want to be?" I didn't accept the job.

I went on an interview for an administrative assistant position. The interviewer said, "I see here you have been out of work for the past two months. Do you do this often or just when you feel like it?" I felt like saying "Anytime my boss is like you," but instead I smiled and said "excuse me this postion isn't for me." He smiled back and said "well would you like to try another chair? or perhaps stand up?" I laughed and walked out.

The most horrible incident that ever occurred to me on a job interview: The interviewer fell asleep in the middle of asking me a question. He would jump to attention each time I would respond and then slowly his chin would drop to his chest! The whole interview lasted about ten minutes!

At a job interview less than a month after I graduated from college, I was told by the president of the small company I was interviewing at: "You must be inept not to have found a job by now!"

QUESTION: "You do realize you won't be able to take your boyfriend with you when you respond to a page." The job was a home healthcare nurse for a large prestigious hospital in Cleveland.

I was extremely nervous in the interview. I am not really a people person -- I' m a computer person. They told me I needed to take a valium. I didn't get the job.

QUESTION: Describe yourself in two or three adjectives.

QUESTION: Did you make your bed this morning?

I was having a hot dog in the lunch room of an ad agency, waiting for an interview when one one of the company's top executives came to my table and asked, "How old are you? To work in this company you must have a masters or PhD from a good university. What is your position here?" I said, "I would apply for a paste-up position, but don't worry, I'll get my degree at Harvard just for you first, okay?" He liked me and said, "Fella, We need guys like you here!" I got the job!

I had an interview with the Department of Fish and Game. They didn't hire me because I had my engagement ring on my right hand instead of my left. They thought I was unstable.

QUESTION: "Since you're a single parent, will we have any problems with your son's father calling and harassing you or anyone here?"

While interviewing for a data entry position with a major insurance company, I was asked, "What relaxtion techniques do you use and why?" I was also given this scenario, "You are the owner of a business with 10 employees. You have 10 minutes to convey to each employee the 3 most important philosophies about your business. What do you say and why?" I said I would make certain they were aware of policies and procedures, customer care, and always come to me when there was a problem--not to let resentments build. The interviewer slammed me for not mentioning anything about attendance.

I was led into a room to fill out pre-employment application forms. To my shock and horror, the guy sitting next to me -- filling out similar forms -- was my current boss.

As a young recent social work graduate (male), I was applying for a job at a crisis shelter. I was called in and sitting in front of me were the two most frightening women I'd ever seen. After the usual questions, one asked if I was married. When I told her I wasn't, she turned to the other and commented "We don't need another happy-go-lucky man looking for a wife working here."!

At the start of an interview for an accounting position, I was told, "I know who I want to fill this position, what can you say to change my mind?"

QUESTION: "What's your favorite fairy tale and why?" During the same interview I was also asked, "If you were on the autobahn, in your car of choice, how fast would you drive?" These questions, while off-beat, were a great way to see how a person responded faced with a difficult situation as well as how much of a risk taker I was.

I went for an interview as a microbiologist in a bakery and was told their entire product line. When I badmouthed one of there competitors' honeybuns, the lady looked at me in shock and said, "Oops!! I' m sorry but I neglected to tell you that we make those under a different name."